Mrs. Ratna Roi

Tring tring, I hear the bell go as I hold my mobile and wait for my mother to answer the phone as I am on the way to the office around 9 a.m. Almost when I start thinking she is not going to answer, I hear “Hello... and next I hear is a panting of breath and another rather hassled Hello..."  I speak up and say "haan, baesto acho? (are you busy) my mom replies " na na...eyi jhee asheni (the maid has not turned up). It turns out the cleaning and cooking maid are absent without any notification and my mother is running around to do all the housework and also cook. Two years back, this had become a regular affair where there would be some breakdowns in garbage collection, house help, roads etc. and my parents both above 67 years of age would be required to run around and get hassled. I called my parents to my place in Gurgaon with a view to give them as much rest and peace as I could away from their worries. I make tea - a deep brown colour with a hint of ginger and tulsi leaves. The aroma is beautiful and the accompaniments are equally alluring. Mild, innocent-looking chiwda, hot samosas, spinach-corn sandwich and of course my parents' favorite - Nutrichoice digestive biscuits.

I have taken a leave from work as ma-baba are visiting and I am really looking forward to this evening with my dear old cute ma-baba and this small tea I had drawn. Tea, or CHA as we bengalis call it, was the bonding and chit chat essential for me. The tea glass bottle came to the front on the breakfast shelf in my house only when ma-baba visited. I sit down, "haan baba, chokher ki obosta tomar?" (how are your eyes), "ota.......(that) a long pause and several deep breaths where my father was utilising the silence to think "where shall I begin from, what is the solution, will my daughter get hassled, how can we travel again for any medical intervention that might follow?" Finally he said "ota ..ektu time lagbe and the condition is bad, my area of vision is deteriorating everyday now and soon I might turn blind". "Baba, we will take you to a doctor this weekend," I said.

"Kanpur theke eto up-down we cannot do, how many days can we stay at your place after all, so going to a doctor is no use, let it be,'' my father finished off both, his cup of tea and the conversation. Ma and I continued our conversation, she steered the conversation towards her favourite topic - her school where she had been a very cherished Music teacher and her students who followed her around like she was some Pied Piper. She narrated a story I had heard at least 5 times earlier and my mind drifted away to the constant worry - what is the future of my parents? They are growing old so fast, daily chores and activities are so difficult and my father's Glaucoma and Macoedema will turn him blind if untreated, what happens to all Banking and related jobs after that? I breathed a sigh and finished my Cha. The answer to all my questions came when my husband asked me to visit the Ashiana Senior Living facility. We wasted no time in getting ma-baba here and finalising their shift to the peaceful, age appropriate premises.

Tring tring, I hear the bell go as I hold my mobile and wait for my mother to answer the phone, I hear a panting of breath and "hello", I speak up and say "haan, baesto acho? (are you busy) my mom replies " na na...eyi dance rehearsal korchilam!! (I was in dance rehearsals!!) That is the level of transformation that has happened in our lives! How life has turned a 180 degree turn for my parents and all of their children. My mother’s stories were repetitive as I realised she had no new thing in her life; not anymore! Now my parents are so culturally active and I am one of the few who can boast about their parents performing on stage and they are both above 70 now! I choke when I remember how they used to come to see our performances and applaud, now it's our turn to applaud and get teary-eyed with happiness. Ashiana has given our family the peaceful assurance that our parents are safe and living with pride, contentment and happiness, not dependent on anyone for their big and small needs.

Dil ki girah khol do, chup na baitho, koi geet gao, they are practising for their next performance as I write this.

By Suparna Roy

Kiran Gupta

Old age is not a disease, it is strength and survivorship, triumph over all kinds of vicissitudes , disappointments, trials and illnesses.

Moving to Ashiana Utsav has been one of the best decisions of my mother’s life. Not just that she’s a lot entertained here, but also well taken care of. The numerous activities keep her very occupied. The greenery all around her makes her feel fresh all day long. Cooperative staff and flawless facilities makes me and my brother mentally at peace from her side. She has started to love herself, likes to dress up and has even started wearing lipstick that she didn’t do for ages. This is one of the best changes I’ve seen and liked in her apart from others. She has started to pursue her passion (dance) which she couldn’t do for 62 years. Singing bhajans and playing tambola has become a part of her daily life now. Festivals carry more meaning now. Socialising at the month end party is something that she always looks forward to! She’s a happier, healthier and soulful person now.

I just can’t thank Utsav enough for such a delightful project where everyday for seniors is a day to rejoice and live life to its fullest.

Anila Gupta

In a world pulsating with ideas and change, can we define family purely on structure and genetics of birth? Ashiana is a place I had to experience to realise that family is defined instead, by warm feelings, unplanned connections and enriching emotions. This August, I visited a place straight out of a fairy tale, Ashiana Utsav. This visit was out of sheer curiosity and annoyance as to why Anila Aunty refuses to be away from Ashiana, for a stay in Gurgaon, her home even before we shifted in as her neighbours 15 years ago. The visit of a few hours extended into two days. I reflected deeply on the vision of the Founder of Ashiana. He knew, although it had just dawned upon me, that there is a rich social wellness and room for senior citizens to make friends, and make those friends family.

The Vedas state that the four elements serve as powerful guides on how to live in synergy with nature and its creations. The glow of health and inner joy I notice brimming in Anila Aunty is much more amplified than I could decipher in her five years back. Her Yoga classes were soothing and free for all and I see she has shared that goodness in the Laughter Club at Ashiana. Senior Living has harnessed in her and her friends I was fortunate to socialise with, all the four elements of Life.

Fire - the energy and continual movement of a healthy mind and body is assured by the activities they collectively participate in at Ashiana. It's like a non-stop party in Ashiana in which Aunty is thoroughly enjoying playing the DJ!  

Earth - the body, the mindset, personal space, all are being nourished in this community of Seniors with similar abilities, common hobbies and the space to express themselves. It is heart-warming to see the respect they hold for each one's talents. Each friend Aunty introduced to me, was by first name and their special talent. Ashiana is a leveller of our very diverse culture, creed and community. You are known by how you share, entertain, teach and play here. It was refreshing to be in a community where no one asked me what my husband does and what my surname is to gauge my monetary or social status. Not just Anila Aunty but all grandparents here have risen above a deeply entrenched conditioning of the mind and societal norms.

Air - The life force, faith, mutual trust and determination. Residents here can only live this carefree, because they have a mutual faith, trust and silent knowledge of being cared for in 'The Happy Ashiana Family'.   

Water - the creativity, the flow of life to its end, imagination and then bringing it into being.

This seemed to be what Aunty was seeking and exactly what she found with you here at Ashiana. Her beauty, creativity and imagination have found wings and one finds her actively involved in the plethora of activities, picnics, fashion shows, excursions, activity clubs, dance performances and her most favourite event, the Jashn. Keep shining, keep growing, keep smiling Ashiana Family, who have stolen my dear Chachaji Ravi Sibal and my darling Aunty Anila!

I am Anshika, daughter of Mr DP Jain and Mrs Reeta Jain, residents of T2112, Ashiana Utsav.

My parents shifted to Ashiana Utsav, Bhiwadi in 2010, initially on rent & subsequently purchased their own flat T2112 in 2011 and are satisfied here in totality. To our pleasant surprise, we have found their life is now full of vigour and enthusiasm after this shifting. Whenever I visit Ashiana, I feel so good and happy to see my parents & all their friends enjoying their life to the fullest. I feel really blessed that both my parents are multitalented and happy at heart persons. I have childhood memories of spending time together, watching cartoons, playing cards, quiz, singing songs etc. I have seen a very positive, active and vibrant change in their lifestyle after they shifted to Ashiana.

Mummy regular plays table tennis, she participates in dance competitions, swimming competitions, fast walking etc. My Father is an excellent singer and his jokes are always admired by everyone. He is brilliantly proficient in quiz & general knowledge content and has been participating in competitions. What I really admire and love is their renewed childlike enthusiasm and energy. Whenever I talk to my parents on the phone I can hear that zing to live, full of life attitude and it's all because ashiana fills their life with so many activities and companionship. Words are not enough to describe how a child's heart feels when he/she sees their parents truly happy and living their life to the fullest. Heartfelt thanks to Ashiana for giving them and me this happiness. I wish to live my retired life in Ashiana, this is what I feel about life at Ashiana. I most pleasantly conclude by stating that Ashiana Utsav is really an asset for my parents.

Rajani Mittal

There are three words that stand out for me and sums up everything,

Utsav (celebration)

Active (full of activities)

And finally the most important 

Living (literally).

My parents moved there on 19 November 2018 almost a year from now just after my father retired at the age of 60, from his 40 years of service at the State bank of India. My mother who is now 59 years old has always been a housewife which according to me is the highest ranking job in this world! All their working years went into providing for our family and now they’re doing what they enjoy  the most, enjoying every bit of their sunset years. Something that I have always admired in them was their desire to live life to the fullest and in their newfound surplus time, Ashiana Utsav ensured they had the means to do exactly the same. Their life today reflect their desires. When I call them today they always have so much to tell me about their day at Ashiana unlike earlier days where the only description of the day was “same old boring” .

They have so many pictures to share every day and what’s most assuring is they are smiling in every one of them! Their interests are a way of life today and every day is literally packed doing so. My dad sings, does yoga, plays carrom and has even started playing Table tennis and dancing!! And my mother who has always enjoyed dancing and her yoga, to my surprise, started singing as well! And even winning doing so! It’s literally like they have gone back to school and there are no studies only extra curricular activities. I mean who wouldn’t want that right?! Going to bed happy and waking up happy in the morning is their routine now and it’s so contagious and so inspiring. Life at Ashiana was a beginning rather than an end. And seeing everyone at Ashiana, I have understood that we  should plan to enjoy as much as we plan anything else.

Anjana Mukhoupadhaye

Aging is a time of adaptation and change, and planning your future housing needs is an important part of ensuring that you continue to thrive as you get older. Of course, every older adult is different, so the senior housing choice that’s right for one person may not be suitable for you. Most seniors don’t want to spend long periods of time in expensive hospitals or long-term residential facilities. Instead, they want to continue living independently with a little support.

The importance of family rises with advanced age as elderly need more support and help in their later life.  These are especially important for older adults with mental health history, disabilities and those residing in nursing homes. Family support influences the care individuals receive when living in nursing homes. Family is important because it provides love, support and a framework of values to each of its members. Family members teach each other, serve one another and share life's joys and sorrows. Families provide a setting for personal growth. Family is the single most important influence in life

Ashiana Senior Living (Utsav) is a new way to celebrate life after fifty-five. Nestled in the foothills of Aravalli Ranges, Ashiana Senior Living is crafted to perfection. With meticulously designed apartments, the community is made of vital and accomplished individuals where countless team members provide a host of services so that you are free to enjoy the things you love the most. The biggest difference between independent living and assisted living within a larger senior care community is the full-time medical and custodial care that is provided for those who choose the assisted living option. Some also offer higher levels of care, such as memory care and skilled nursing as well.

Here at Ashiana Utsav Bhiwadi I am very happy as a child that my parents had decided to shift in this Village Complex. They started living there life and rejuvenated their morale. The amount of activities they have, the parties they have, the picnics they have, to top it all the immediate medical care they have is stupendously worth mentioning. All festivals National and religious are well celebrated. A memory cherished by my parents throughout.

Although it’s sad but would like to mention we lost our father in March 2019. Trust me the amount of support we as children got from the team of Ashiana Utsav Bhiwadi will always be cherished as at that point of time in life we were devastated with our personal loss. From the scratch till the religious rituals each and every thing was being taken care off. We never realized how time passed by and dad went on to his final journey. All kudos to the concept of senior living at Utsav. From the core of my heart I thank Team Ashiana Utsav and mentors behind the idea.

Anand Sagar Mehta

Immensely tempted by the inspired living of Mr. S.C. Malhotra and Mrs. Gulshan Malhotra are pursuing, living, leading and enjoying at Block 8, T- 372, Bhiwadi. When an occasion appeared before me via “Jashn 6” and “Life at Senior Living”, so I couldn’t resist myself by penning down my views, thoughts, feelings and Dil Ki Baat as such this article for the concern and benefit for all the stalwarts.

I’m A.S. Mehta (70), resident of Jaipur (Rajasthan) an Ex Bank Executive “Samdhi” of Shri Malhotraji. My spouse Mrs. Mehta is also an Ex Bank Executive since 2016. Here it is pertinent to mention that Mr. Malhotra and Mrs. Mehta both share a common date of birth i.e. 3rd July as such share many characteristics and traits which are common to both of them. They're full of life and great souls.

Ashok and Indu Bahl

Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do is in harmony-Mahatma Gandhi.

I believe I see happiness in my parents' eyes ever since they moved into Ashiana senior living complex. After having being busy all their lives my parents dreaded retirement mostly because they were unsure if they would be able to maintain the same lifestyle physically and socially. Ashiana retirement complex completely defied this way of thinking and provided a platform to be mentally and physically active, busy and happy. My father retired in 2008 from Steel Authority of India. Having lived in a steel township with great infrastructure like good roads, schools, hospitals and facilities for entertainment like a clubhouse and social gatherings they were looking for some similar place to that.

After a lot of research they found Ashiana Utsav in Bhiwadi which they instantly fell in love with. A place which they could call home. Their typical day at Utsav starts with starts with a morning walk or yoga where they bet to catch up a few laughs with their friends as well. A great start I must say! I feel elated to talk to them every evening and listen to their enthusiastic stories about a festival being celebrated or a fun badminton game that they played that day. I haven't celebrated Valentine's Day in the past few years but they haven't missed one yet. I am a little jealous now! It's great to see how well planned the activities at Utsav are, ranging from physically challenging activities like sports events to keeping the mind active like quizzes etc. the activities at Utsav have taken both my parents to their youth. I have seen them preparing for the annual festival (Jashn) with full enthusiasm like kids and they are looking healthy as ever. I pray that all Seniors in world to have a life like this.

By Abhilasha Bahl, Daughter

Mohan Swaminathan

A battle of emotions fills up your heart and mind when it is time to leave your loved ones on their own. It was difficult to give in to my father's wish of living an independent life. We lost our mother about 5 years ago and as dutiful children, we wanted to give him unconditional love and care. Even as educated and broad minded people, the concept of senior living community would not appeal to us and it was absolutely unpalatable to take that extreme step. When we first visited Utsav, the serene and calm environment was so enchanting. The carefully manicured landscape, the pollution free atmosphere and cheerful seniors around it made it all feel so positive. We researched more about the concept of senior living and gradually our thinking changed.

Today, as I sit to pen my thoughts, I feel so proud of my father for his independent thought and for leading a life that is dignified in every manner. I salute his spirit and positivity in embracing a life that is practical and beyond emotional societal norms. He spends his time constructively amidst like minded friends and engages in many activities throughout the day. Multi-talented that he is, he pampers his taste buds with his own expert culinary skills, sings his heart out and is enjoying every single moment. Everyday when I call up my father, he has so much to share that it only makes me happy that he now spends his time meaningfully as compared to the mundane hours spent within the confines of our houses when we would all be at work. Every individual deserves the freedom to enjoy their lives in their own way and when it comes to celebration and merriment, age is no bar!

By Mala Iyer (Daughter)

Manoj Kumar and Vandana Srivastava

Change is an inevitable fact of our lives. And when a change is made for good, pleasing results speak for themselves. In our country, the older generation is more or less a neglected lot, either due to unfavourable circumstances or by deliberate attempts made by children to get rid of them. Despite the parents’ selfless efforts made at making their children’s lives easier, they are compelled to move to an old age home where they are expected to happily adjust in a 1 room accommodation for the rest of their lives. However, far from this gloominess, exists Ashiana Senior Living, a harbinger of peace, dignity and treasurable moments. My parents- Dr. Manoj Kumar Srivastava and Vandana Srivastava- residing at T-285 in Block 9, are living a life they deserve. Their love for the place has blossomed to such an extent that they have decided to settle there permanently. Having dwelt at several places during their working years, they chose Ashiana as their final abode.

The positive changes I see in their lives are the result of the environment they are surrounded in. They enjoy long walks without feeling the need to venture of their secured perimeter. They plan their vacations with an assurance in their minds that 24/7 available security is agile enough to guard their house in their absence. My father is no longer worried about finding an appropriate place to park his car. Gone are the days when even minor maintenance tasks at home would require frantic search for a suitable person in the market. With uninterrupted water and power supply, they remain relaxed regardless of the situation in the outside world. Fun activities organised throughout the year at the Activity Centre give them plenty of opportunities to spend quality time with their neighbours and other friends at Ashiana Senior Living. Although there are several other housing units, which claim to have larger areas, however they lose out to Ashiana Senior Living when it comes to personal care and attention. This reminds me of a meaningful couplet:

“-O Rahim! Do not discard the small in the quest of the big. Respect the needle for its ready help where the sword is useless.”-

By Swati Srivastava, Daughter